Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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