Well douche your snatch and let's go!
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
