i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You are a genius and a whore.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
