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so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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