No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I enjoy the company of your penis
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
