dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
