wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I wear drunk well.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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