I wish I could punch you in the face.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
