Say something about gay babies.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
