better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize