just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
