Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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