Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Randomize
