the new term for farting is butt boxing.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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