I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize