who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
