That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
