i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
