i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.