Is it because I queefed?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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