I hate all girls vehemently.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Dignity is for republicans.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
