Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
