I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
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