Don't make out with my wife yet
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
