my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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