it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
