i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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