It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize