I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
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I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Drake has all the answers
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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