Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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