But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
