I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Success! We fucked roommates!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
