Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
