if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
