Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
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ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
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Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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