fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Church boner. Awkwardddd
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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