Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
