i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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