Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
