Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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