After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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