My liver just broke up with me...
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
