I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
