Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
