Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Randomize
