you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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