either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
