i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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