We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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