So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
