Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
