Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
