butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
We got so high we made milksteak
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
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the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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