I just pynch a tree in the face
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize