The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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