she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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