I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
