The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
