Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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