marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
